MYTH: STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN
Did you notice the way the cashier at Walgreens returned my change to me? Returned to me… placed the coins on top of my cash… on top of my upturned palm… the coins slid right off and onto the floor. She must have been distracted from reading my life line.
And my money line
And my curve of Apollo
The pennies sounded melodic hitting the floor tiles. It’s a shame the acoustics there are garbage. You always leave before I can put my change back in my wallet. I told the cashier to have a nice day and she said mmm hmm.
No one pays in cash anymore
I’ve been humming her name ever since
I embarrassed us on the escalator to Hudson Yards…I should have outgrown that fear by now… do not damn me here… or to the escalator at Peachtree Center station. Did you know it was in a movie from the eighties? It was the stairway to heaven.
In real life it just leads to the Hard Rock Cafe
I'm always standing at the platform rehearsing my first step on
FIRE/ICE: OF COURSE I CARE
First, enter the spiral. You are young and you are doubled over laughing at the typography of a car decal that reads “Your wings were ready but my heart was not”. You are laughing even harder at your own apathy. The treads on my boots are worn so these days I'm just sliding… I got my first pair of Doc Martens in the third grade… they were hot pink and rubbed my ankles raw… it was nice to see a physical reminder of all the steps I had taken.
Little moments of learning
Baby lets go bury the lede
You remember that day at the mall weeks before Christmas. It can never smell that good again. You’ve spent all this time chasing that smell…to no avail… quit sniffing the handrails... that day you bought a shirt with snowflakes on it and you wore it year-round. Maybe if you could remember what it said.
It pilled after one wash
Lint is just clumped-up losses
Of course, I care, you know I do. I’m 11 years old chewing on Polly Pocket shoes. So much stomach acid accumulated back then and I still don’t know what to do with it all. I cared so much when the kid in my class biked to my neighborhood for Tae Kwon Do… It was always dusk... he didn’t have any lights or reflectors on his bike.
It made my stomach hurt
It was probably all of the extra acid
DEATH/LIFE: FREAKALUDE
The urges fester on, it's never mattered that it's been so long. Honeysuckle, iron, gourmand. I was going to write that it feels nice to be here together. You used to tell me there was nothing worth crying over… you must not notice how beautifully the sky will bend its colors for you… something about taking the weight off. I’ve always liked the feeling of a computer mouse in my palm.
Are you not impressed with how I’ve let it all go?
It’s something in these funky funky funky house beats
BALANCE/STORM: DELL COMPUTER
I called us friends in an essay I wrote. I’m writing myself all the way to you. I can't stand losing you… I keep our cologne on the left side drawer under my sink… I keep your blade safe on my nightstand. Your brother's gonna kill me and he's six feet ten.
Somethings you never outgrow
Sometimes you get so sleepy nothing could ever feel unpleasant
I must find some release from you. I don’t have games on my phone. I am purely and perversely devoted to my Personal Computer. I think the starter worlds could be free…we watch love become micro-transactional…attainability diminishing appeal. Do not dissuade my desire.
Do not
It's been so lovely to take on different forms with you. Can you be a little less vague Anon? To you, this is all over the place.
To me it all sits sweetly on the same shelf
Next to the desk where we used to keep the family computer